theaterboy is damn well flabbergasted to learn that ...
... a world-premiere production set to open soon in our fair city was coming along swimmingly until:
- the stage manager left town. Without telling anyone where he was going or when he was coming back. "We open in four days," sez the scandalized thespian who slipped theaterboy this story, "and he has yet to see a rehearsal. Of any kind."
- the playwright came to town. He spent a week on the director's sofa before moving to a hotel at last. The high point of his visit, sez our mole, was the rehearsal at which the scribe sprang from his seat in the house--"not just to give an actor a line reading, but to physically demonstrate for her the correct way to 'act' while delivering it." The actors were excused for five minutes while the director "jumped so deep into writer-man's shit that his feet still stink." Theaterboy gathers it's clear now that Joe Playwright isn't allowed to give notes of any kind--or, for that matter, to speak to the actors again during his remaining days here. "Apparently this is much more autobiographical than he had previously acknowleged," our source sez, "and his specific requirements for production could only ever be achieved in his head."
- the costumer "spent $600 on nothing," only to announce mere days before opening that his great-grandmother had taken her last breath and that he was required to be at the family's beck and call. "Literally, there are entire scenes in the play currently without costumes-- with $600 he bought three pairs of khakis, two skirts, two pairs of shoes, and a cotton robe," the mole laments. "We have an audience in two days."
- things got crowded and stinky. Three different shows by three different companies will soon be sharing the house in question, "and no one has done a thing to help organize the space," the source sez. Meanwhile there's a fridge that was unplugged months ago to save electricity--but wasn't cleaned out first. And just the other week, two 40-gallon vats of rancid grease appeared outside the theater's back door; "they're still sitting there," source sez, "festering."
Well. And how's your week so far?