Okay, now. This is more like it. Who's got more? I think Joe's responding to someone else's offhand suggestion, but I hereby elevate it to an official request: More stories about empty-house disasters.
What's your worst (funniest, grimmest, angriest, most hysterical) story about hearing "places" only to discover that there were more people taking their places than people taking their seats?
I know it's painful -- sympathetically painful, honestly! -- for me to sit through those shows as a critic. I watch the cast working their asses off, knowing they're not getting the energy they need back from the empty seats, and I just cringe.
So come on: Vent.
Alternate topic: LuckySpinster reminded me t'other day of a dinner-party topic I've batted about more than once with other critics and, on occasion, with random theater people at the gay country-western bar (yes [name redacted], I'm talking about you).
To wit: What charmingly vague phrase do you employ when you've just seen someone you like perpetrate or participate in something excruciating, and you can't escape the meet-and-greet afterward?
"Oh, my God, you guys were astonishing!"
"I can't believe it!"
"I've never seen theater like that!"
There must be subtler ways, but Tboy's on his first cup of coffee. He cedes the floor to...